NAQs or Never Asked Questions
Yes, I’m embarrassed to say that I do have a vision board. Why am I embarrassed? Well, I hate jumping on “vision board,” “The Secret,” “we’re going to homestead and be self-sufficient,” “let’s all 4 of us and our 60lb. dog live in a super tiny house,” “we should start growing pot,” or “ we’re going 100% gluten-free,” type bandwagons. They all feel and seem like trends.
There is always a choice between denial and possibility, resignation and acceptance.
It’s never been about “fight” for me when things get tough and scary. It’s been about abort and abandon (a.k.a. flight). I don’t escape through drugs or alcohol, but through staying in my bedroom, ignoring my family, friends and basic life responsibilities. It’s like drug and alcohol overuse in that the end-result is the same if sustained over the long term: I not only abort and abandon myself but also everyone I care about.
Our Future, As We Had Imagined, Has All But Disappeared
Tomorrow I am holding a ceremony on a computer screen without hugging the students, teachers or parents who made it all possible. It sucks. My husband and I are also losing our restaurant and another small business that was making some great gains. Our future, as we had imagined, has all but disappeared. We are, like many families, at the precipice of losing everything. Yet, we had everything to lose. There are many who had nothing to begin with. If loss this great doesn’t somehow bring us together and more on a level playing field, I don’t know what will.
A Seemingly Insignificant Lesson in Loving Fully
My son hops out next, hair tangled, t-shirt, dirty pants, satchel hanging across his shoulder and a bright yellow bandana tied around his neck. He is so happy and proud.
My heart sinks. Not this. Not for picture day.
